|Clean Living - Religion at Christmas
It was Christmas and everyone seemed to he having a great time, but
Father O'Rourke was not. He suddenly said to Father Kelly 'You know
what. I'm fed up with all this good behaviour and clean living. Why
don't go out and have good old sinful night out. We could drink, go with
loose women and do whatever takes our fancy.' Are you mad?' replied
Father Kelly 'This is a small town. Everyone knows who we are.' 'I don't
mean we should do it here.' said his colleague. 'We could dress like
everyone else and take the train to the city'
After much persuasion Father Kelly agreed to do so and off they went
that night and partied until morning. They arrived home very much the
worse for wear and it was then that the enormity of what they had done
began to dawn on Father Kelly. 'Oh my God. We're going to have to
confess our misdemeanour.' 'Don't worry.' replied Father O'Rourke 'I've
already thought about this. You get changed and go into the confessional
and I'll tell you all about my misdeeds and you can absolve me. Then,
I'll do the same for you.'
So, a short while later Father O'Rourke went to the church and entered
the confessional. 'Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I went out with
a friend to celebrate Christmas last night and got drunk, had sexual
relations with women, danced to wicked music and used foul language.'
Father Kelly replied 'God is patient and forgiving and so am I. Do five
Our Fathers, five Hail Mary's and your sins will be forgiven.'
A short while later their positions were reversed and Father Kelly
confessed everything in great detail. 'This is an outrage.' exclaimed
Father O'Rourke. 'What kind of priest are you? Do five hundred Our
Fathers, Five hundred Hail Mary's, donate all you income for the next
three months to the church, go right round the church on your knees
fifty times, asking God's forgiveness as you do so. Then come back to me
and maybe I'll consider absolution.' 'What?' said the astonished Father
Kelly 'What about our agreement?' Father O'Rourke replied 'What I do
with my time off is one thing, but I take my job very seriously.'